First hello, my name is Michael Gamble and I am a compulsive gambler. I am happy to say that I haven’t gambled in two days.
One thing I can say is I regret that tonight I can’t write about my next chosen musical moment in my life as the time available to me today, due to work commitments, means I just can’t do the music justice. It will wait until tomorrow.
Instead you’ll see the photo used on this blog are of the 12 steps….the 12 steps that can be used toward any kind of recovery from an addiction and I know for many millions this has worked.
Today I realise I am taking the 12 steps seriously for the first time, ever since I was introduced to them at Gamblers Anonymous.
The thing I need to acknowledge is that even when I started attending and then lapsing from Gamblers Anonymous I did still have a vestige of hope or feeling that somehow what I had lost from gambling I would one day win back, with the right attitude and will power and means.
If anyone who can admit to themselves that they have a problem with gambling I can tell you from my own experience, and many others will, that this is a fatal mistake.
The way I used gambling was on horse racing and I’m glad to report that I have now
- Cancelled any subscriptions to horse racing TV channels
- Cancelled all subscriptions to anything connected to gambling or horse racing (tipsters and the like
On top of this I also have found the strength to do the following which I pray if you have suffered from gambling you may also find the power to do also. The simple act of doing these things has given me hope that I’ll get through all of this.
- I have self-excluded myself from any form of betting site, exchange and closed all gambling accounts with a self-exclusion so that the site can never accept me or my banking details again. If you are serious about gambling I know this step is hard, but again from my own experience absolutely critical as, although I may be in a frame of mind today that I won’t gamble – on acceptance of being a compulsive gambler I have to understand that at any time the demon of gambling will return when I least expect it. I didn’t do this effectively enough in the past, but now I have done.
- Handed over control and monitoring of my money and spending to someone I trust who knows that that I am a compulsive gambler and if I gamble again stand to lose everything I have. For many this is also so difficult, but I am grateful that I have a younger sister and brother-in-law who I can trust absolutely with my finances and who now have access to my bank accounts, credit cards, Experian credit reports so that not only can my spending be controlled but also I know for sure if I start to use any money to gamble they will see this immediately and I’ve given them all the powers necessary to allow them to stop this if they see it on the radar.
This is complete acceptance and the finality of doing all of this has today taken a huge weight from my shoulders.
I have no doubt that any time in the future if I have some kind of windfall from anywhere or accumulate any significant amount of money that the temptation to gamble will come back. As a compulsive gambler I do accept that I must you the word “WILL” rather than “MAY.” Experience again has shown me that this is the case.
From today I accept that I can never be the sole controller of my own finances and that I need an intermediary to act as a gatekeeper to stop me gambling, and I don’t just need this now, I will always need it.
So, thank you again to my gatekeepers. My sister and brother-in-law. I request that you never allow me to take control of my finances again and I love you for the support you have shown me and the effort you have provided to monitor my finances and control that I don’t ever use money for gambling.
This commitment is for good and I hope if you do have the ability and are reading this. You can find your own gatekeepers as well as the acceptance that if you are a compulsive gambler, you can never allow yourself to take full control of your finances ever again.
Good luck to all. I know for many it is hard, but my commitment is never to gamble again.
If any of these words resonate with you, please seek assistance from Gamblers Anonymous. Their advice is sound and will help you.